Reading this book came right after I realized my own perfectionist behaviors. For simplicity’s sake, people who are perfectionists are either very organized and do things in a way that they will be perceived as “perfect” or they are so paralyzed by it not being perfect that they don’t act at all. I’ve found myself on the paralyzed end of the spectrum. Without being overly mindful of it in the past, it has shown up in my career decisions, how quick I am at getting things done (hello procrastination), and how harshly I’ve judged myself for different activities I have performed. I didn’t realize it was so bad, well, until I realized it was so bad.

I finally understood how it was hurting me and causing me to live in a way that was driven by fear and judgment. Fear of not being good enough, fear of rejection, fear of failure, and just not giving myself a break – all of which under-girded my unconscious desire to operate in perfection. But I’m not perfect. No one is. No one ever will be. I can only be me. And I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to do so. It’s amazing the negative things we learn on life’s journey, and how they really inform how we see ourselves and what we do in our lives. Needless to say, I’m working on judging myself less, and challenging my fears. I’m working on being more mindful of the negative ways I think and combating them with positive thoughts and affirmations. But I’m also being purposeful about doing things differently and accepting the outcome – without thinking that if it doesn’t turn out the way I want, then there’s something wrong with me. One ongoing lesson for me has been that what I do does not equate to who I am. So when I do something that turns out to be a dud, then it doesn’t mean that I’m a dud.

In any case, this lesson came to me within the last month. It’s fresh, and I have a lot of work to do. But I’m glad I at least became conscious of no longer needing to perfect (finally!). I’m perfectly imperfect and what I need, as Brene Brown described, is to live wholeheartedly and practice authenticity. I think that’s a truer way to live.

Basically, I haven’t mastered the lesson yet, so I continue to go through situations that are strengthening it for me or knocking me on the head saying “hellooooooo!.” It’s a blessing and a pain all in one. But I have come to learn that lessons will repeat themselves because the student has not fully learned it (the student has not become the teacher). And I’m all for learning so that I can grow, become a better me, and practice authenticity.  It’s tough, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

Our second look at whom or what the devil really is, is stress. Below is how dictionary.com defines stress:

1. special emphasis or significance attached to something
2. mental, emotional, or physical strain or tension

Stress can lead to the following health problems according to WebMD:
Heart Disease, Asthma, Obesity, Diabetes, Headaches, Depression and anxiety, Alzheimer’s Disease, Accelerated Aging and Premature Death.

I would argue that stress is often a choice. Either we choose to have peace about a situation or we choose let our situations bother us to the point where it begins to affect our health. In fact I find myself stressing as I write this blog. I have literally chosen to be stressed by focusing so hard on an issue that I am literally tense. It just dawned on me I only face what has been causing me stress for a few hours a week at most. I have let a couple of hours per week impact weeks of my life. I have chosen stress. I have chosen to focus on 2 – 3 hours as opposed to focusing on the mass multitude of hours that are actually good in my life. Those 2 – 3 hours do not outweigh the good in my life but I have lost focus. I write this so you will not lose focus. Do not lose focus on the blessings that you have in your life. Being stressed is a stumbling block that will ultimately cause you harm.

So how do minimize you stress? Some would say pray. But what if that is not working, then what? Well maybe you need to experience God in a new way. Go outside and take a look at creation, look up at the stars in the sky. Doing this may put things into perspective. Your stressors may not be as big as they seem. If that does not work here are some stress relieving activities:

http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management-relieving-stress

Don’t let the Stress [Devil] eat you up. Rebuke the Stress! Get behind me Stress!

1. First impression aren’t always lasting impressions. We never know if a person is having a bad day or season in their life, and often impressions are loaded with our assumptions.
2. Life isn’t to be lived, it’s to be made. We can accomplish so much in life; it’s up to us to make the effort, make it count, and not let things just happen to us.
3. We often let fear become too big of an obstacle. If we allow fear to control us or dominate our lives, it will only prevent us from living an abundant life.
4. Failure is an option. With any task we can fail. It can be a great lesson. It doesn’t mean that we are failures; it means that we can try again or try anew.5. 5. Focus on the similarities, not the differences. Our differences are valid, worth noting and even preserving. However, when we focus on them solely, they only create more distance and disconnects than relationships.
6. Be yourself. It takes more time and effort to be someone we’re not and in the end we’ll only live with regret and missed opportunity if we do.
7. Be open and honest. We’ll experience and learn a lot by opening up to people and the world around us. Honesty just makes for a better relationship, and it’s a good way to weed people out (and to be weeded out).
8. Unfortunately you will often attract and unknowingly seek out those who reflect the parts of yourself that you don’t like. If we really analyze our relationships with others, as well as with ourselves, we might find some similarities to the “negative us” and negative things we’ve been exposed to.
9. Follow your inner knowing. That feeling we get when we “just know” something without having all the information (or even when we do) can guide us into love, a great career or away from harm.
10. Life will surprise you, especially people. We never know what is to come no matter how much we plan. We also never know the extent of joy and pain those we know and love will create for us.

Now that you’ve read what I learned, what have you learned in your own life that you might pass on to others?

Our first new look on who or what the devil is, is given to us by Hip-Hop artist Elzhi (former member of Slum Village). Read the lyrics to verse 2 from his song D.E.M.O.N.S where he uses and explains what D.E.M.O.N means as an acronym:

[Break - Elzhi]
D (D, D …)
E (E, E …)
M (M, M …)
O (O, O …)
N (N, N …)
S (S, S …)

[Verse 2 - Elzhi]
If I broke the word down in acronyms, while usin part logic
A demon could mean – destroyin every man off narcotics
Drug epidemics, measure obsession needles
Got dealers earnin money overnight
Deceitful elections, monitor our nations
While devil’s effected, music out now on your stations
Dirty, explicit, material, oozin negativity
Distortin, eardrums mentally, overwhelmin nonsense
Dysfuctional, educational, malfuctions, oppressed negroes
Death, equals murder, oxygen’s neglected
Drama, extreme mayhem, ownin a necklace
Diabetes enter many obese niggaz
So, dreams eventually match, ordinary nightmares
Department, eviction, management office notices
Dreadful, evolved missiles operatin nuclear
Why is this new to you?

[Interlude - Elzhi - talking] (*echo*)
I can’t explain it dog
I get this chill in my spine
I just get the urge to do somethin real crazy man
Yo, I might be losin my mind

[Break - Elzhi]
You see if you listen close
You can hear the song they sing
Between good and evil, you’re just a puppet on a string
Singin …

(“Aaaaaaah aaaaaaah, aaaaaaah aaaaaaah”)

[Break - Elzhi]
D (D, D …) – dark deception, deepest degree
E (E, E …) – enhanced evil, extraordinary envy
M (M, M …) – major malicious, miscellaneous mayhem
O (O, O …) – overload off, obnoxious obscenities
N (N, N …) – never nice nature, negative nemesis
S (S, S …) – several strange souls symbolizin stress
S (S, S …) – several strange souls symbolizin stress
S (S, S …) – several strange souls symbolizin stress

Listen to the full song below:

But the time for TRUTH is here.
It always has been.

The truth is, the essence of who we are is good.
We are created for and with a purpose in mind.
We are worthy, beautiful, creative human beings.
We can handle the truth.
We can hear it, give it, and be it.

God, you know the truth of who we are.
You formed our inmost being.
You created us in a unique way.
You are truth and your spirit connects to our spirit.
Help us to live our truth and live in truth.
Enable us to operate in love instead of fear.
Guide us in accepting ourselves fully, that we may fully accept
the truth in another.
And when the truth feels too hard to bear, encourage us to
live truth anyway.
This we ask, so that we may have a better relationship with
others, ourselves, and you.

From birth we are called Black or referred to as Black People. But should we allow ourselves to be defined by the below definition?

Definition of Black according to Dictionary.com:

1. lacking hue and brightness; absorbing light without reflecting any of the rays composing it.
2. characterized by absence of light; enveloped in darkness: a black night.
3. soiled or stained with dirt: That shirt was black within an hour.
4. gloomy; pessimistic; dismal: a black outlook.

I/We are none of the above.

If you still do not understand where I’m coming from insert any of the below words in front of the word “People” (i.e. “Dirty” People).

Synonyms
1. dark, dusky; sooty, inky; swart, swarthy; sable, ebony. 4. dirty, dingy. 5. sad, depressing, somber, doleful, mournful, funereal. 7. disastrous, calamitous. 9. sinful, inhuman, fiendish, devilish, infernal, monstrous; atrocious, horrible; nefarious, treacherous, traitorous,

I would even go as far to say that the “N” word can be inserted in to the above list of synonyms.

I would even go as far to say that the “N” word can be inserted in to the above list of synonyms.

I’M NOT BLACK I’M AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN AND WILL NO LONGER BE ASSOCIATED WITH THE NEGATIVE IMAGERY AROUND THE WORD BLACK. Secretly my/our psyche is being poisoned by this word.

BLACK HISTORY 2013